How to know your Partner's Personality - Episode 13

Knowing your partner's Meyer's Briggs's personality type can help in various ways. It can help in understanding how your partner communicates, how they deal with problems, and how they make decisions. This can not only improve your romantic relationship but help in other relationships as well. What is your personality type? Join us as we dive deeper into this topic.

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TIMESTAMP:
►00:10 - What does Yuntaku mean?
►00:42 - Recent Happenings: Curbside pick-up fun
►02:40 - TOPIC: What's your personality type?
►02:47 - What is the Myers Briggs Type indicator? How is it useful in a relationship?
►03:27 - The 4 learning styles: Extraversion/Introversion - Sensing/Intuition - Thinking/Feeling - Judging/Perceiving
►08:38 - These styles are on a continum
►10:55 - What happens during stressful times?
►13:04 - There’s no good or bad and the best is when you can see, understand and embrace what each of you bring to the relationship.

QUESTION: What is your personality type?

MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com

Podcast Transcription

The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.

Akko 0:00

The best is when you can see, understand and embrace what each of you bring to the relationship. It's your time with Akko and Tamo.

Tamo 0:10

What does Yuntaku mean? It's an Okinawan word from the islands of Okinawa, which means chit chat. We want to invite you to our kitchen table, and include you in our chit chat to explore new ways of thinking, to welcome different perspectives.

Akko 0:28

And we want to share ideas and how to love yourself, love your partner, and shower your children with love.

Tamo 0:35

This is Episode 13.

Akko 0:38

And the topic of the day is what's your personality type. But before we get to that, let's talk about our recent happenings. So this is really not a recent happening. But this is something that we just wanted to give attention to. So recently, we've been doing a lot of curbside pickups. And we have been very pleased with how much time we save and the efficiency that it comes with. So if you guys live close to a target, or sprout or Whole Foods, or any markets that actually offer this or any delivery services, we highly recommend it for people that are very busy. So for busy parents that have kids that really you know, you don't want to really take into the store because of COVID. This is a great option for you guys.

Tamo 1:23

Yeah, it's great just because you can place orders online. And one of the benefits is you don't go shopping when you're hungry. Because we all know what happens when we go shopping when we're hungry. And we get to avoid that. So there are many more benefits aside, saving time and not having to go into the store. Of course, I myself, I do enjoy going into the store and just browsing and I think there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's very enjoyable. But again, there are some downsides when you go hungry. And I have experienced a lot of that traps of that. So you know, tongue in cheek, it's, you know, try curbside pickup if you have it. And a lot more doors are offering that now, especially around our area, I think stores restaurants,

Akko 2:07

yeah, a lot of places that are starting to offer it.

Tamo 2:10

And so yeah, if this is something up your alley, please check it out and enjoy just because it's not just the time savings. But again, from kind of more funny perspective, you will most likely not fall into the trap of driving for that snack or things that he shouldn't be buying things that you don't need. Right, exactly. But again, on the other hand, ordering online makes that much, much easier to it's just the top of the screen. So hey, you win some you lose some but check it out.

Akko 2:39

Yeah, check it out, check it out.

Tamo 2:40

So today's topic of the day is what's your personality type. Thank you very much for introducing us. So today, we're going to be talking about the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. This is a personality assessment that we've been using learning about for quite a few years. And it's been very helpful, especially in the beginning stages of our relationship, it had been a great tool for us to understand each other. And it also gave us a language to resolve conflicts, and figure each other out from a different perspective than we were able to without the language of this fires Briggs Type Indicator. So with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, there are a total of 16 types, which is broken down into four different sections. So if you can share that with us.

Akko 3:27

So the four learning styles are extraversion and introversion, sensing and intuition thinking and feeling and lastly, judging and perceiving and it's pretty much a combination between all of these, and that's why you have that 16 personality

Tamo 3:43

types right right. So, it combines the four styles again as I mentioned, and then each one is taken. So extraversion is denoted as E introversion, I sensing is s intuition is n thinking is t feeling as f judging as j and proceeding is P and for example, in my case, I am an intp which is an introversion intuition thinking and then perceiving

Akko 4:08

and I am an Ian fJ so I am extraversion intuition, feeling and judging.

Tamo 4:15

So what does all this mean? Oh, can you talk a little bit about the extraversion introversion?

Akko 4:19

So extraversion and introversion? So extraversion, meaning you're more outgoing, you get energy from others from the outside energy. That's how you regain that energy. That's how you build energy. That's how you feel energized and introversion. On the other hand, you energize yourself. So the more you're within yourself, the more time you have by yourself, the more energized you get. So that is the biggest difference between those two.

Tamo 4:44

Yeah, exactly. So in another way, extraversion, you get energy from being with others, introversion, you get energy by spending time by yourself. And of course, it's a continuum. So it doesn't mean if you're an E, you completely need to be with others all the time. Some can be more on the extreme end, some can be a lot more milder. So please consider it's a spectrum or a continuum. Yeah,

Akko 5:07

yeah. And I have to say I was a more extreme extraversion before I met Tamo. And slowly, I kind of became more closer to

Tamo 5:14

the middle. And same for me too, I really enjoyed time by myself, I still do. But being with a girl, she really showed me the benefits and the joy of being with others. So I started to move on the continuum a much more to towards the middle. So that is the extraversion introversion. So you can probably think about it for yourself, how do you get energy, energy from being with others, or you know, spending time by yourself. And then the second one is sensing and intuition. So this one is what people focus their attention on. Right? So the sensing type are usually more about the concrete and tangible things, while the intuitive types are really good at abstract things and ideas. So for more of the sensing type people words, such as concrete or practical or traditional might resonate, whereas more the intuitive person, the words abstract or theoretical or conceptual might resonate more with the intuitive person. In our case, we're both on the more intuitive continuum.

Akko 6:16

Yes. So a lot of our conversations can be more abstract, imaginative, and we can understand each other

Tamo 6:21

and it's a lot of ideas. Yes, visioning for the future.

Akko 6:26

And so moving on to thinking and feeling so what's the biggest difference there thinking is when you're pretty much in your mind, you can make a lot of decisions based off of what your thinking and feeling is you base your decisions on how you're feeling more of like a gut feeling more empathetic. For example, I'm a feeler is a much more in tune with my body, how I'm feeling. A lot of times when I ask questions that I'll ask people, how are you feeling? Instead of what are you thinking? or How are you doing? So that's probably the biggest difference in our eyes.

Tamo 6:58

And on this type, people who are more on the thinking spectrum would be the words that would resonate with you would be logical OR reasonable, or maybe critical or questioning whereas feelers would be more resonating with the words such as empathetic or compassionate, or maybe accepting, accommodating words like that would be something that you would resonate.

Akko 7:22

So moving on to judging and perceiving. So what's the biggest difference there. So for people that are in the judging category, they tend to have a more structured way or theory to approach the world. And the perceiving types tend to be more unstructured and keep options open.

Tamo 7:40

So with that, people who are more like j type, they would understand a more systematic approach to doing things, they're very good at planning, and they love schedules being on time, whereas the proceeding would be a lot more open ended spontaneous and just kind of open with new information. So for example, if you're more on the J side, if there is a meeting that you're going to go to, so let's say there's a meeting at one o'clock, you will be at the meeting probably before one o'clock, ready to go. Whereas the receiving end would be a little bit more loose with the time and also probably are much better at living or winging it. And just because of the p type will be able to kind of absorb a lot more of what's going on and needs less structure and a system or a plan. So that's how the judging and the proceeding. So that is, in a nutshell, what the four learning styles is a cop. And so please understand that these styles are on a continuum. So of course, you have extreme extraversion to extreme introversion. And there's greyscale in between. So it's the same with all the other types. Now, one thing that for us, in many years of looking at Myers Briggs, applying it to ourselves to a relationship, or what we've seen is the more developed you are as a person, the maturity inner work you've done, the more you're able to experience and understand the other side of the continuum. So for example, for me, I've been able to experience a lot more extraversion. And then for myself, I was a lot more of an intuitive person, but going into the sensing and being a lot more concrete with me conversations that I would have the way I thought the same for thinking and feeling. I was much more of a thinker, but really focused on exploring my heart feeling. And also the same for judging and perceiving.

Akko 9:31

Yeah, I never have to say the same, uh, knowing this personality type has really showed me how to understand you. So for example, like you were saying extraversion versus introversion, I knew that you were introversion, so you're more needing time for yourself and I was a person. So let's say we get into an argument unlike already, I'm like there after a minute of maybe something that we didn't agree on. And I'm ready. You're ready to discuss it. Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah, exactly. So I'm already ready to discuss it and

Tamo 9:59

yeah, for For myself, I really needed time to process it and be by myself for a little bit. And so that kind of came up. And the more and more that we communicated understand ourselves better, we were able to move closer and closer to the middle.

Akko 10:14

Yeah, yeah. And even just him needing more time for himself, just so that he can energize just knowing that, okay, this is what he needs, because I'm a person that always wants to be around people. So that's how I get energy. So knowing that that's how he got his energy really made me understand him and appreciate him more.

Tamo 10:31

So you would be a lot more open and okay with me having some alone time, and then I became a lot more understanding of Okay, she does need a lot of time together and fight. That's perfect, because I will give it my best when I'm with you. Yeah. So yeah, we really struck a balance. And now it's not we don't even think about that. And it's become second teacher.

Akko 10:53

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yes. And

Tamo 10:55

so another kind of insight that we've had, through years of working with the Myers Briggs is that when you're in a great state, so when you're in a great mood, things are have been going well, you will most likely be much more closer to the middle, you're not going to go to any extremes. Now, on the other hand, if you're in a bad state, let's say you're just maybe you're hungry, tired, and then things that work have been, right, exactly. And many other things happening, or you're in a bad state, the more extreme, you will most likely go on the spectrum. So for example, by NTP, which is what I am, I would become a lot more more introverted, I'll be more in my head, I'll be thinking a lot more. And I would just become a lot more even more lacs with time and things like that. So So that's something to keep in mind. So bringing it back to your own experience, when you're very stressed, what happens? Do you tend to tell yourself, Hey, I just need to go out and be with my friends for Are you more like, No, I just want to stay home, I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to deal with anyone because that what happens when you're stressed? Then they'll show you if you're more of that on the extroverted or introverted side? And then it's the same for any of the other types, too. Yeah,

Akko 12:11

yeah, I completely agree. So it's a really good way to gauge where you're at.

Tamo 12:16

Yeah. And that also shows each other how we use it in our relationship. When I'm stressed, I know, I'll go into more than extreme for my personality type.

Akko 12:27

And I as well, too, I will be more in my feeling. So I'll be more in tune, I'll be more anxious in a way that I need to be with other people. And I'll be more structured, I'll be like, Okay, well, we need to do this and that and that and that.

Tamo 12:39

And the benefit of knowing that is when you're stressed, you're most likely not going to make great decisions. So going into the extreme of these types, it's actually not necessarily a positive thing for decision making. So when you are in this state, your partner can help you kind of bring out pull you back into more towards the middle, so you can have a lot more balanced life and decision making.

Akko 13:04

Yeah, so there's no good or bad in a relationship, the best is when you can see, understand and embrace what each of you bring to the relationship.

Tamo 13:13

Exactly, exactly. So for example, God brings the extroverted side, I bring the introverted side, we converge that together to find a beautiful middle. Same for the sensing and intuition, we both tend to be on the intuitive side, but knowing that we can seek a little bit more sensing in our lives. And then the thinking and feeling we can merge that together to merge the the mind and the heart together to make great decisions. Yes, and for judging and perceiving the J and the P with a cost planning and kind of execution and timeliness of a schedule. It helps me whereas I can bring more of the bigger picture to planning. It really helps create a more

Akko 13:57

balanced life. Exactly.

Akko 14:00

Yeah, so what's your personality type?

Tamo 14:03

We'd love to hear from you. Please comment on our YouTube channel by searching Yuntaku time take care

Akko 14:10

bye