Keep Up with Your Children’s Development - Episode 39

How do you foster your child's growth? What can we do as parents? How do we keep up with our children? In this podcast, we discuss how understanding the developmental stages can help in how to deal and foster your child/children. Join us as we dive deep in this topic by giving real life examples of how to foster your child's growth. 

Please subscribe. We look forward to reading your comments. ❤️ 💫

TIMESTAMP:
►00:00 - Intro
►00:11 - What does Yuntaku mean? 
►00:37- TOPIC:  Keeping up with our children's development
►00:50 - Recent Happenings: How the Helmet saves Zenpo and the anxiety of parents. 
►01:50  - Context: Our children are 2.5yo and 11mo
►01:58 - The 2 main ideas we want you to take away are...
►02:17 - Development Theories and how to apply it
►04:07 - How we adjust to our children
►05:57 - What we learned through our experience 
►08:00 - We need to adjust to our children not the other way around
►08:46 - Understanding the context

QUESTION: Have you Studied any Development Theories

MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com

#fosteryourchildren #developmentaltheories #riseinlove #realizeyourtruenature

Podcast Transcription

The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.

Tamo: This is episode 39. 

Akko: And the topic of the day is keeping up with our children's development. And before we get started, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show. Now let's get back to our recent happening. So recently our son has been walking everywhere. I mean, he's wanting to walk and explore outside. And...

Tamo: he's starting to run.

Akko: Yeah, exactly. Run. And so we just wanted to share that we use this helmet. It's not really a hard shell helmet. It's a soft shell helmet. And that has been saving him so many times. 

Tamo: Yeah, for sure. He still doesn't have perfect balance. So when he's walking around.

He does take a tumble here and there. Having this soft shell helmet has been really helpful and also it kind of stretches. So. It's a lot more comfortable than it would be with, for example, like a bike helmet. 

those things are quite hard, right.

Akko: Yup Yeah, 

Tamo: it's been really nice and it does get him sweaty, but Hey, it's worth the head protection. 

Akko: Right, right And the beginning they might not like it, but just give it a few minutes and.

just won't even feel that anymore. 

Tamo: Exactly. All right. So let's go into the topic of the day, which is keeping up with our child's development. So as context, we want to say that our children are, two and a half years old and 11 months old. So keep that in mind while you listen And So the main themes of this podcast today is that we want to share two main ideas. And one is to learn child development theories so that you understand where your child is at? And then the second one is to understand that all of the challenges that come with parenting are direct opportunities for your own personal growth. And so the first one is development theories and there are many development theories, right? Akko 

Akko: Yes. So many, I mean, there's psychosocial, cognitive behavioral. Attachment theories. I mean, there's so many out there and in future podcast we would like to go over all those theories because all those theories applies to, all the children. 

Tamo: And so again, to keep up with our children, we've been learning about these development theories and. The benefit of learning. Child development theories. You don't have to go really, really deep into it unless you're a very interested. Is that you get to understand where your children are at and where they're going. So, because of this understanding, it helps us become more compassionate. 

More understanding 

Akko: and 

Tamo: it helps us make better decisions based on 

the development stage of the child. And we'll be generalizing in this podcast, but please understand that. These development theories are theories. And so don't take development theories as the final say . So for example, when you start studying it, say, oh, my child is not developing fast enough or they're not on this path and we want to always be flexible and we have to know what the situation is and that sometimes that theory doesn't apply one-to-one and this is where your wisdom as parents come in. So keep that in mind look into development theories. It helps you get a general idea of where a child just like physical development, right from when they're a newborn and they start to crawl. They start to walk things like that it happens on the inner plane too. So with that understanding. I want to share an example of how something like this has helped me personally, in my parenting journey. . By learning development theories and knowing where the child is at. The emotional and also mental perspective. So for example I shared this in a previous podcast, but. When there was a lot of fiction when, I would ask my daughter to get ready to go out. So, you know, wear your socks or wear of jacket or whatnot. And she would just not want to do that. And so I was getting frustrated. I wanted her to, okay. Hey, I'm I'm asking you to. Put on your socks. She just runs away. And this was causing friction. And instead of getting that frustration. Get to me. By understanding these development theories, I said, oh, okay. I need to get to their level at an emotional and mental level right now. And so I got eye level with her and just figure it out by being with her without pushing the frustration on her. 

I was being with her and just feeling out what she was asking for. And why is she running away?

And I found out that by just watching her. And, you know, putting my frustrations aside that she wanted to play. And of course when you're getting ready. And especially if you're an on time crunch, it's really difficult to give her that time to play. But what I did was. Okay. We have some extra time. And so she wanted to play chase. I chased her around the house for a little bit. A minute or two and then say okay, Hey, we need to go out. So where are your socks?

 Wear a jacket? And she was more than happy to do so. Because I got her level and. Also fulfilled her needs at that moment. And of course, again, it was the situation and we had a little bit extra time to do so. So it was very helpful, but by knowing these development stages, it will help you, understand that. Our children are not going to be able to understand what we understand because we're obviously. A much more mature. So what we want to do is help. Foster growth, not push it.

Not push growth, but foster it.

and, have our children bloom. Just like as a flower would on their own time. And not too. Stunt. 

Or

again, Push growth. 

And so from that. Not only was I able to use the development theory and understanding.

again, I'm not, sharing the exact development theory that I used or thought of, but in general, And then it was also. An opportunity from my own personal growth. It showed me the importance of keeping fully present with my child. And there 

Akko: always 

Tamo: Us clues to their needs. So it was a growth opportunity for me to calm down. Take a breath. And just let go of my own frustrations and say, Hey, okay, clean slate. I'm here with you. And just feeling out what it was that our daughter wanted. So that's something that I wanted to share.

Akko: Yeah. Yeah. That is so true. Our daughter just, she just needs like a little bit of time and then she will listen, after she kind of does her own thing. And as Tamo said they played chase, she was ready to put onher shoes and, ready to go. And.

A couple of days ago that happened again, where it was bath time and she was like, I don't want to take a bath right now. And Tamo just went around the house with her. Just kind of chased her for like few laps. And she just came into the shower room and she was like, I'm ready. Took off her clothes and she was ready to shower. 

Tamo: No friction right there. 

No 

Akko: friction whatsoever. And also, you know, sometimes you just, if, she doesn't do it right then and there. Just give her a few minutes, like do something else and then come back to it and more than not, she is able to just do whatever things we need her to do.

Tamo: Right. And you know, of course this is just one case and it's our daughter and all kids are different. Right. But it may work for you to, test it out. And, The story is what we want to share is we need to adjust to our children, right? So what we want to share with you is we want to. We as parents also need to adjust to our child, not our children fully adjusting to us. It's more us fostering their growth. So it's not that, Hey, what the parents says is, a black and white do it now. Of course there are situations that it requires that, physical safety and other things. I'm sure we can think of many instances that it requires a black and white, but in general, what we want to do or what we think as parents.

Our personal, thoughts are, is to, foster growth and give them, as much freedom as they need without them hurting themselves. 

Akko: I Couldn't have said it better. And another thing that we would have to understand is the context of the whole situation. So they're not listening. They start to get frustrated and they start just. Getting into a full-blown tantrum. And you know, you as a parent, you were like, why is this happening?

Like they were listening, but They're good at listening. Like they did it once or twice they did it three times. It doesn't really matter how many times they had listened and how many times you were successful. It really boils down to the context of the situation. Maybe they didn't get enough rest. 

Tamo: made it 

Akko: Maybe they didn't, maybe they didn't get enough love from, mom and dad. 

Tamo: Yeah. It could be they're hungry. 

Yeah. 

Akko: Exactly. They're hangry. I mean, Us as adults. Like when we get hangry, we get really irritable at the simplest situation. Or even if we do get enough rest, we get really triggered very easily and the same goes for our child. So let's give him the benefit. 

And understand where they're coming from as well. Because it happens to us and obviously it's going to happen to them as well. 

Tamo: Yeah And so the question of the day is. Have you studied any development theories? If so, share that with us on our website. 

Akko: We'd love to hear from you, please.

come say hi on our new website, by going to AKKOANDTAMO.COM That's a K K O a.

N D T a M o.com. 

Tamo: All right All right Talk to you soon.