😊 Raising Emotionally Intelligent Toddlers - Episode 64

In this podcast we dive into the world of Raising Emotionally Intelligent Toddlers and exploring crucial steps in fostering these emotional intelligence for your little ones. 

We discuss the essential process of naming and acknowledging toddlers' emotions. We emphasizes the importance of providing emotional support, reassurance of normalcy, and waiting for the right moment to guide them through coping strategies.

We touch on redirection as a useful tool and the significance of unconditional love during emotional challenges. Our goal is to equip parents with practical insights for nurturing emotional intelligence in toddlers—a crucial life skill for healthier relationships and mental well-being.

IG: @akkoandtamo

TIMESTAMP:
►00:00 - Intro
►00:17 - TOPIC: Raising Emotional Intelligent Toddlers
►00:27 - Recent Happenings: Our Daughter started Preschool
►02:37 - How we build Emotional Intelligence in Toddlers
►03:07 - Naming the Emotions
►04:26 - Supporting Emotional Regulation
►09:26 - Building Emotional Intelligence

QUESTION:  What updates do you have that you want to share with us?

MUSIC:
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chillhop.com

#fEmotionalintelligence #confidentchildren #consciousparenting #realizeyourtruenature

Visit Us: https://www.akkoandtamo.com
Instagram: @akkoandtamo

Podcast Transcription

The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.

Episode 64

Tamo: This is episode 64.

Akko: And the topic of the day is Raising Emotionally Intelligent Toddlers. And before we get started, Please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show. Now, let's get back to our recent happenings. Recently our daughter started preschool, as I believe we mentioned in previous podcasts, and she really looks forward to going to school.

Tamo: Yeah, what a, what a big change, isn't it? Yeah,

Akko: Super different from the first time we tried to put her in school, which was when she was about two and a half is when we two and a half three is when we tried to put her in preschool and enroll her in preschool, but that just really didn't go well.

Tamo: And yeah, she just wasn't ready. And now that she's ready, she's definitely she likes going

Akko: to school. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It just tells us, that children really knows when they're ready and when they're not, obviously, there is, exceptions and, everything, but they pretty much, they know let the parents know when they're ready to go and when they're not yeah,

Tamo: definitely, And it of course it depends on the situation the family situation And sometimes they do need to go to school. Sometimes they don't and things like that so it's really, you have to take into consideration the context and looking at the bigger picture and Fortunately for us we were able to be with our daughter longer As she, warmed up, as she grew and as she matured we were able to stay with her and luckily for us our daughter was able to go to school with her mom.

Akko: And yeah, I think that really helped, just having me go with her to school and being in that school environment while I was there really helped her understand and just really feel confident in that type of environment.

Tamo: Yeah. And just today you were mentioning, because I was asking how she was and you were saying because she was able to Go to school with you in the beginning like you said, she was able to explore a lot more with, the confidence that you are there.

Yeah,

Akko: exactly. And yeah, I think it gave her a lot of security and just the step that she needed to be able to go to preschool. And, again, some kids are different but I do tell parents when they ask me like, Oh, how is your daughter doing? I'm like, ah, she's doing great and I mentioned how this parent participation preschool that we're going to really helped her like as a stepping stone to go into full blown preschool.

Tamo: Yeah, that's fantastic. It's just really a big blessing for us. Absolutely. So today we're going to be talking about raising emotionally intelligent toddlers. So Akko please take it away

Akko: yeah, so I just want to touch base on this Subject about emotional intelligence and how we build emotional intelligence in these little toddlers. And really it's first of all, having the understand what they're going through, what emotions they're feeling, right? So as parents, if they're going through some really tough times and they're having tantrums and fits and whatnot, the first thing to do is really naming the emotions that they're going through so that they can become aware of their emotions.

'cause In reality, just feel bad. That's all they really know. And that's why they cry out and that's how they're letting us know that they're not feeling that well. They're crying it out having tantrums and whatnot. So the first step towards understanding these emotions that they're having is to have them become aware of that.

That is to start naming the emotions that these toddlers or children are going through. And so you give them the language to communicate their inner world and reducing that frustration. So you ask them, okay, are you feeling sad? Are you feeling happy? Are you feeling frustrated? Irritated? Happy?

All those emotions, you just want to start building the vocabulary by training them into understanding what type of emotion they're going through. And for example, let's say a friend at school took away their toy and they're crying out of frustration, you can let them know, oh, I see that your friend took your toy away you seem like you feel frustrated.

And first you can actually give them choices okay, are you feeling this, are you feeling that, and they can choose between those two, but in the very early stages, they really don't know what they're going through, so you can go ahead and put that vocabulary into their minds, as far as, oh, you seem frustrated, or angry, you can start off by naming those emotions, and putting those vocabularies in their pocket, and After naming that you can start providing emotional support.

And this also is a really crucial step. So after you name it, you want to now provide those emotional support. and that pretty much means you're helping them regulate their emotions. So you're reassuring them that this is normal to experience. You go through them. Mommy and daddy goes through them. It's very normal. And so that reassurance of normalcy actually helps them cope with their emotions or actually understanding that, Oh, everyone goes through this. So it's not just me and you're not building shame and guilt or whatever into them. You're not really trying to do that. You're just saying, Hey, this is normal. These emotions are normal, but this is how you can deal with these emotions. And that's really the next step.

And that is the building the emotional intelligence part when you're actually helping them and guiding them how to do this, right? if they're in a full blown tantrum this is not gonna really go into their head because they are pretty much in the more primitive brain and they're not gonna listen to whatever you're saying They won't even have the mind and space to even be able to listen to you So what you want to do is you want to just wait until that passes and unfortunately, that means you just have to wait till they settle down so that might be a lot of crying and you know a lot of maybe cuddling or Whatever to help them just settle down. Sometimes it can be redirecting. And that's what we do with our son. So we redirect him a lot. Cause he just wants to cry it out.

Tamo: And for him when it comes to redirection. He's actually responds to it pretty well. Except for times when he really is just not wanting to. Even be redirected then we just have to let him cry it out with mama But at the same time when redirection works, it works like a charm.

It's really oh,

Akko: yeah, absolutely Yeah, absolutely. It really helps him a lot. So yeah when kids are dysregulated you just really want to see how it is right try to redirect him if that doesn't work, okay mommy's gonna be here or daddy's gonna be here. We love you And just wait and just say, I'm always here for you. If you need a hug, I'm right here and just let them know you're there for them, it's okay. And so that they don't have to feel that shame or that like conditional love, right? It's always unconditional love.

Tamo: And that's something that I've been noticing more and more is when they are feeling bad, when they are acting out A lot of the times, it's they need love in the way they want love, so it could be just going up to them and giving them a hug, and even though they may push away from it deeper, deeper down, they're actually getting healed and comforted by the parent being calm and Really a steady foundation for them to just process their emotions.

You're talking about Support is pretty much being with them right being with them and Telling them that you're here for them. And you also mentioned that it's normal to feel these emotions and that we all do feel these emotions

Akko: hmm. Yeah, and so yeah There's always a time and a place, if again when they're dysregulated like so dysregulated They're not really listening to you because they're in full blown tantrum mode.

You just have to wait You just have to wait till that settles. And again, like Tamo mentioned, give them that love that they need or that they're needing. And so you just go with their cues, right? Or just following their lead in that way. But once they're settled and they're able to breathe and they're able to listen to what you're trying to say.

You can go into, okay, why don't we take a deep breath together? And if that doesn't work, you can just say, let's blow up this imaginary balloon. And let's blow it up really big and try to be animated so that your children get into it and just say, yeah let's blow this balloon so big that it pops and you have them blow or blow out a candle like an imaginary candle or have them, blow a big, huge bubble. It can just even be just make sounds and hold that tone or whatever works as far as having them take deep breaths, having them inhale and exhale, so that it can actually help them calm or regulate their system a little more.

Tamo: And I think that also goes into the Vegas nerve. And we can talk about that in a different podcast. Yeah,

Akko: Yeah, for sure. And so you know, watch out for that podcast. But yeah, so it's really important for them to be able to regulate their emotions, letting them know that you're there for them.

And talking about those emotions like, Oh, okay, how did you feel? Okay, you felt frustrated or mad? Okay, what can we do? And just role play as far as, Oh, what can we do when we're mad and just going over that so that they know, Oh yeah, do we do after mommy gave me or daddy gave me a big hug?

Oh, we took a deep breath. Okay, so let's always take a deep breath when we're feeling these big emotions or blow into a bubble or whatever works again. And that will help. And actually create that essential life skill that will benefit your child in the long run. A lot of times, as an adult, you get so angry, sometimes you're just like, Oh my gosh. But really, taking those deep breaths really help and it helps regulate your system.

And if deep breaths don't work you can even come up with a song together and you can sing that song to even regulate those emotions. So whenever you're like feeling the children are going through these big emotions, you can start singing the song and hopefully that will calm their nerves.

And providing these skills to your children at a young age is very essential as they grow up because it's going to be pretty much programmed into themselves and then it's going to be nothing. They're going to be like, Oh, I'm going to take a deep breath. And then, just take a deep breath, as compared to myself, where I did not learn that when I was younger, it's much harder, you're just like, all right, I got to take a deep breath, we're doing this in hopes that our children will have an easier time as they grow up to, use these skillsets.

And manage their emotions effectively and to foster these healthier relationships and better mental being, right? That's what we're really trying to do because that's really the big picture, right? We're trying to build their emotional intelligence. And this is where it begins and it begins by parents or caregivers naming their emotions providing them support and Guiding them giving them skills on how to cope with these emotions

Tamo: So if you think this episode is helpful for other parents, please share it. And if you haven't, please take a quick moment to subscribe to our show.

Akko: And the question of the day is what updates do you have that you wanna share with us?

Tamo: We'd love to hear from you. Please come say hi by commenting on our website by going to AKKOANDTAMO.com and clicking on the podcast tab.

We're also on Instagram at Akko and Tamo, so make sure you follow us there and come say hi. All right. Bye. Bye.