Relationship Success - Episode 4
Sharing your values with your partner is one of the most important discussion you can have with your partner. Knowing each other's values can not only improve but help in identifying root cause of any discussions. Here are some of the questions you can ask yourself and your partner. What is your biggest goals in life? When did you feel most successful in life? Let's discuss them. Come join us as we dive deep on this topic of values.
Please subscribe. We look forward to reading your comments.
TIMESTAMP:
► 0:09 What does Yuntaku Mean?
► 0:38 Topic: What do you value in your life part 2?
► 01:00 Life Happening Story: Toddler Molar vs Parent Sleep
► 03:30 Tamo's Biggest Goal in Life #1: Getting to know my core self.
► 06:47 Tamo's Biggest Goal in Life #2: Design a Loving and Growing Family
► 08:00 Akko's Response to Tamo's Goals
► 10:08 Akko's Biggest Goal in Life #1: Getting to the Next Level with Tamo
► 10:39 Akko's Biggest Goal in Life #2: Great Family Life with Children that are independent
► 11:28 Tamo's Response to Akko's Goals
► 15:02 Tamo's Most Success in Life: Our Relationship
► 17:46 Akko's Response to Tamo's Success Story
► 20:55 Akko's Most Success in Life: Our Relationship/Marriage
► 22:04 Akko's Most Success in Life: The journey to Become a Nurse
► 23:01 Tamo's Response to Akko's Success Story
MUSIC:
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► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chll.to/7293b0ec
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chll.to/0d2cc18a
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chll.to/e79a5d63
► Copyright Chillhop Music - https://chll.to/8fa63f1b
#values #selfdevelopment #familywellness
Podcast Transcription
The transcription below is provided for your convenience, please excuse any errors made by the automated service.
Tamo 0:00
had to run away or try to run away.
Akko 0:03
I had to chase him. It's Yuntaku Time with Akko and Tamo.
Tamo 0:09
What does Yuntaku mean? It's an Okinawan word from the island of Okinawa, which means chit chat. We want to invite you to our kitchen table, and include you in our chit chat, to explore new ways of thinking, to welcome different perspectives, and learn better ways to live
Akko 0:30
life. And we want to share ideas and how to love yourself, love your partner, and shower your children with love. So today's topic of the day is life values part two, and we'll be answering two questions. What is your biggest goals in life? And number two will be when did you feel most successful in life. But before we get to those topics, we're just going to share some of our recent happenings with our daughter. So her molar is her top molars are starting to grow out. And let me just say that we've been having a lot of sleepless nights. And I'm just hoping that this will end soon.
Tamo 1:14
Yep. Which means we've been waking up about like, maybe even five times a night.
Akko 1:19
Yeah.
Tamo 1:20
And I don't remember when the last time was when we got a full night's rest. I don't think we've had that.
Akko 1:29
Yeah, no, not yet. No, since she's born so well. Over 15 months. 15 months. It's crazy.
Tamo 1:37
So I think for you, yeah, you you haven't for sure. But for myself, I've only had one full night's rest. And that's only because I had to go on a business trip. And it was a overnight business trip. I was in a hotel. So I was able to get one full night's rest 15 months and wow, that the next day when I woke up, I remember thinking, is this how it feels to get a full night's rest? clarity in your mind. Right? It's it's gone. Just a memory of that. And that's it.
Akko 2:11
I can't wait to have just a full night's rest. I know whenever that'll be right. Looking forward to but
Tamo 2:18
I think for us yeah, it's gonna be a little while.
Akko 2:20
Yeah, because I can see those bottom rollers coming out too. And I don't know when that's going to be but it's like bulging out. So
Unknown Speaker 2:27
lovely. Yeah.
Akko 2:29
Well, I'm just hoping that it's just back to back to back. And we can get this
Tamo 2:33
going. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. And it's interesting, because she's quite tolerant to physical pain. She really yeah, I'm sure when Keith come out. It's really an uncomfortable time for her. Yeah, she does. Yeah,
Akko 2:46
yeah. I mean, she's just, I can tell you know, that she's suffering with it. Yeah. So
Tamo 2:52
yeah. And so yeah, it's very understandable. And we have all that compassion for her. It's interesting, because usually, she's very good about physical pain, you know, she'll fall down. She usually doesn't cry. Unless it really is something that hurts.
Akko 3:05
That's when you know, you're like, Oh, God, I must have hurt. Right. Right.
Tamo 3:08
Right. And so yeah, hopefully, that passes. And if any one of you have any tips for
Akko 3:16
for us?
Tamo 3:18
Yeah. Make sure to go to YouTube. Search for Yun taco time. And comment on this video. Yeah, and let us know. Yes, please.
Akko 3:26
Alright, so let's get back to our questions. So number one, I guess I'll ask it. What is your biggest goals in life?
Tamo 3:37
Thank you. So for myself, it's mainly split into two one is kind of a personal one, which is really getting to know myself, my, my, who I really am. I'm continuing to kind of peel that onion. And looking forward to peeling that onion and find that no one when is it no one was actually there. And although that might sound very weird. That's what what I've been working on. So what I've been working on is asking myself, who am I? Am I my body? Okay, so if I'm not my body, then Am I my thoughts? And it's becoming more and more clear that what my thoughts are not myself. And I would love to continue that work. Until I get to a real clear understanding and and realization of who I really am. So that's one of my really big goals, personally, in life. And, of course, I want to be the change that I want to see in the world. So showing by example, the change that I want to see, right so not saying hey, you need to change but instead, if I want to see that change I need to change and to really share that with people. And I also want to flow through life, there was a book called The flow by Mihai to simplify. And he looked into flow and what happens during flow. But for myself, what I've noticed is when I'm doing work that I enjoy, and I can focus on the work, time flies, I enjoy it. And I come out of it much happier, much more energetic. It's interesting, because I'm expending energy in work. But I come back with even more energy. And that's the type of life I want to have, I want to be in that flow. And for the energy to continue to lift all of us up in the family and people we are friends, family, colleagues. And then even when there is chaos, being at peace. So this is a perfect example, right? We have this virus situation going on, and then civil issues that are coming up. And not only that, even for ourselves, as we mentioned in a previous podcast, we said things like the coronavirus comes up, there are a lot of emotional psychological issues that come up within people. And so you'll find yourself a lot more agitated or depressed or they all take surface. Right, right. It does entice and so even within this turmoil and chaos, I would love to be completely at peace within and have equanimity in all of my life. And another big goal in life is to design a loving and growing family. A family that, like you mentioned, really is overflowing with love, and giving our children opportunity to grow to their greatest potential. They can be who they want to be. Right. And so that's something that's really important to me. And because of that, I feel that I would be able to express my highest self that we also talked about in the previous podcast, but I would love to be able to express my highest self through the work that I do on myself. Biggest School of really understanding who I am, and designing a fantastic loving family. So that's some of the biggest goals that I have in my life again, knowing who I am. And designing a family environment that allows for love, growth, and
Unknown Speaker 7:57
joy. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Thank you.
Akko 8:01
Well, you have some very deep goals there. You know, like you mentioned in the beginning how you're trying to find who you really are. I mean, it's such a hard. It's not an easy question. I mean, a lot of people, I don't even know if they really ask themselves that a lot. Like who they really are, because those are some deep, deep, deep goals that you have. And I really commend you for that. Because a lot of people really don't ask, like you mentioned in the beginning, who am I? And that's a very hard, you would think it's a very easy question, but it's actually very hard to answer. It's one of those counterintuitive question, you think it's like, oh, yeah, it's super easy. I'm this person. But is that that? Is that really who you are? And that's the question that a lot of people can get stuck on. I hope to help you with that, if I can in any way. But yeah,
Tamo 9:01
yeah. And regarding that, the question that I'm trying to answer is not Who am I in terms of, Okay, I am a business owner, or I'm a father. But those things can all change. And what I'm looking for is something that is unchanging, right, who am I in in terms of what is always constant? What is always me? Whereas I wasn't a father before but now I am. I, I may not be a business owner in the future that I don't know. And those things all change, you know, even we can also say physically, I might say, I am X number of pounds, right? But hey, tomorrow, the day after it continues to change. And as I age, my physicality or change and everything like that, so aside from that, who am I that's what I'm trying to answer for myself, and really Get a realization, a deep realization and understanding of what that is. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. So thank you. All right now it's your turn. What is your biggest goals in life?
Akko 10:11
So my biggest goals in life is getting to the next step with you. What does that mean? Getting to the next level of our relationship? Right now our relationship is, it's great, super happy. But there's always you always have to grow in a relationship. So get into that next step, whatever it may be, is one of my goals. And another one is having a great family life and having our children be able to independently guide themselves in the best direction for them. So like you were saying, like the rocket, very similar concept, I would hope that we are their greatest supporter and that they feel confident in doing whatever they want to do whatever they put their mind to. And I always want them to be curious, always ask the Why always want to explore. And so I would like them to be their guiding light, and support them in that and create a happy family that way. Those are really my two major goals in life are my biggest goals in life.
Tamo 11:27
Yeah, that's great. And you know, when it comes to relationships, we usually do this exercise where we ask ourselves, are you happier than we were a week ago? Are we happier than we were a month ago, a year ago, five years ago. And it's been tracking upwards. It's amazing how well let's say a year ago, we would say, yeah, we've been so happy. Yeah. And we don't know what that next level is. Right. But now looking a year back from now. Yeah, I go, wow. Yeah, I think we're a lot more mature. And I feel a lot more joy being with you. And, you know, especially with Corona happening. It really showed me that, hey, I can be with the family 24. Seven, and not pull my hair out. Instead, it actually made it opposite, where I want to hang out with you guys even more, because it's fun. It's enjoyable to hang out. And when things do come up, we aren't able to resolve it so quickly. And not because we're running away from it, because we go straight into it. Okay. Yeah, this is an issue. Yet small or big. This is an issue. Let's bring it up. Let's discuss it.
Akko 12:42
Yeah, it's really more of a discussion. There's no raising our voice or anything like that. Right. Yeah.
Tamo 12:48
And yeah, we just really make sure that we understand each other. I'm asking you questions. Okay. How did that make you feel? What can I do? And what was the issue, things like that, and how
Akko 12:58
can we improve? Right? What can we do next time, so that this, the same issue doesn't happen or occur? Right. Exactly, exactly.
Tamo 13:05
And so then we take each other's advice very seriously. And not only contemplate on it, but we actually take action. And I think that's really made a huge difference, and being able to communicate openly, has been contributing to our happiness. I agree. So yeah, I think it's great that your goal is to get to the next level, together with me, and I'm looking forward to it to sky's the limit. Yeah. And you also mentioned the children and for them to be their own Guiding Light.
Akko 13:40
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I, you know, I don't want us to be their Guiding Light, you know, they need to make their own decision. I hope that they are, stand up kids.
Tamo 13:50
And I would love to make a connection for you there. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. You know, I want to be my highest self. I want to express my highest self and that highest self being, when I'm in my optimum condition, when I'm in a happy mood when I'm, I feel good things like that. How am I acting? Or how do I behave? And aside from that, maybe it's something like, Okay, what would the wisest people in history do in this case, that type of highest self is what I'm aiming for. And that means I'm actually looking for my guiding light. Right? I'm looking for my light. And, again, for me, I want to raise our kids through example. Yeah. And so that makes it even more important that I am able to touch into that guiding light so that our children can also see that and learn from it. Yeah. And yeah, I definitely commend you for seeing that and I'm again on board and I'm right beside you and my support is 100% with you and The kids. Yeah.
Akko 15:02
All right. So next question, when should feel most successful in life?
Tamo 15:07
Yeah, you know, this question was kind of difficult for me to answer. Because my mind is usually kind of thinking about business and career, things like that. I sat with that question. And it really came to me. And so let me just kind of explain it this way. So, when did I feel most successful in life? You know, someone might feel successful if they are when they graduate college. Get a certain job or one Yeah, right. Yeah, or the job they're doing currently, whatever it might be. And, for me, I graduated a great university. I had two majors under my belt. I've traveled around. I've
Unknown Speaker 15:53
lived in another country.
Tamo 15:54
Right, right. And I also have a business of 11 years that has, you know, been doing well, it's been very consistent, providing profit. And not only that, it's also been in ink magazine for one of the fastest growing companies in the United States. And so one would think that looks successful. But you know, when I look at that, I don't feel success there. I don't feel success in the business. You know, graduating university, I have many other things that I've done, and but yet, to me, all those seem, it's more empty than anything else. But I sat with it. And interestingly, the most successful is the relationship I have with you. 100%, there's no doubt about it, that's the most successful that I felt, you know, getting married to you. I've always said, that's my best decision that I made. And as we grow our relationship, I bet we're gonna even feel even more successful, you know, and with our children, teaching them by example. And, yeah, so for me, I'm feeling successful through the relationship, not only that, what we both have been able to become, right. So yes, we can have a nice relationship, and it's all good. But what the relationship has added to me is the ability to improve myself, because you're so supportive, and understanding, you really gave me space to grow and mature, open up my heart, and be able to love more. And so, for me, that is success, I think, yeah.
Akko 17:46
That's interesting, because in my mind, everything that you did is an accomplishment. And I'm like, well, that's very successful. But thank you so much for putting such weight on our relationship. I mean, I really appreciate it. So you're, you're mentioning that, because our relationship is so successful, good, that you're able to grow as an individual and everything. And it's interesting, because I think of it as like a pie chart, right? Your life can be divided up into relationship, career, Self and Family, and it can just be divided up however way you like. And it's interesting, because in my mind, a relationship is so big, and that if that part is successful, everything else kind of just kind of comes together. So it's just one of my theories.
Tamo 18:36
Well, it's very nice. I haven't thought of it in that way. I'm gonna have to ask you a lot more about it. Yeah. Work on that. That idea. I think there's something there. So definitely, yeah. And I have to say, a relationship you can have with your partner, it can be very profound. And one kind of way that I been thinking about it is you're my partner, right? And we decided to get on a paddle boat together. And there's a paddle on both sides. We decided, Okay, you take one paddle, I take the other paddle, and we're rowing together. And if we're in sync, we can glide and life is a lot easier, right? But if there's a lot of friction in between us, for example, let's say you're paddling two times faster than I am. We're just going to go into circles going circles, right? Or let's say I'm injured or you know, when I say injured. In the pedal boat example, it would be physical injury and I can't pedal. If you're having to pedal for both of us, you're going to get tired. And so your goal would be to nurse me to help as soon as you can. Right? Same for you. Let's say maybe you're getting sick and tired of rowing and If you're starting to row at half the speed, then we're going to start going in circles again. And so I have to, it's sometimes it's just better to stop, hey, let's take some time together, you're feeling kind of sick of rowing. Why is that? And we talk about it. Okay, let's solve this together, right? Because we're partners, we solve it together and then go back to rowing and things smooth out. And again, just like with COVID, the waves, there are waves in life, right? And how do we best navigate through those things? And I'm glad to have you as that partner rolling. And now that we have our daughter, she's sitting in front telling you guys how to row right? Yeah, so it's kind of funny. But yeah, thank you for sharing. Thank you. Thank you.
Akko 20:51
Thank you. That was beautiful. Thank you.
Tamo 20:54
How about you? When did you feel most successful in life?
Akko 20:59
So most successful, it's interesting. You said, I think we have the same answer there. So for me it finding you marrying you was the most successful thing in my life. And, you know, I just was the first time I saw you, I was I already knew that our connection was just so spot on. And I just knew that I had to fight for the relationship. Whatever happens, I was like, I'm all in. And this needs to happen. And I just I just knew deep in my heart, I knew that you were the person you were the one. So thank you for finding me.
Tamo 21:40
I need to but I had run away. I tried to run away.
Akko 21:45
I had to chase.
Tamo 21:48
Yeah, but
Akko 21:49
he ran further. And I was
Tamo 21:50
like, Where are you going? But you had a really big wide net? And oh, yeah, I got trapped. But I need to though, I need her. So yeah, no, it's it. Yeah, it's been fun.
Akko 22:04
And then another. Success is my career. So becoming a nurse. And it's really not only becoming a nurse, but really the journey that I went through, is what I feel was most successful. I was always good in school, I was a good student, I was always a good student, but I never really tried as hard as I did in nursing school. I mean, I think I gave it my all. I mean, I would study like, I've never I never did. And it felt good. You know, it felt good. I mean, you know, because we were do a lot of study sessions. And, you know, you would do your business stuff. And yeah, it was a lot of days and nights that I would study. And it was just, you know, I felt really proud of myself for being able to really push myself to go through that. And so yeah, so that was one of the most success, successful things that I did in my life. Wow.
Tamo 23:01
That's, that's great. Just listening to what you said about kind of the journey that you went through. Hey, guys, a people who are listening, please take note of that. That is a successful mindset. You know, I was telling you that, you know, I didn't feel successful, even having a business that's 11 years old. I needed to see things that now that I look at it with you're sharing, I'm looking at it going Oh, yes. They always say it's about the journey. It is about the journey.
Akko 23:32
It's that step that you take, right, you're just like, what did you have to do to get there? And there's
Tamo 23:37
always all those steps, right?
Akko 23:39
Yeah, all those steps, baby steps. Sometimes it can be a leap. And in your case, it was a, it was a huge leap.
Tamo 23:46
So sometimes it's one step backwards. Mm hmm. And hopefully two steps forward. Yeah. Sometimes it feels like one step backwards, one step backwards, one step backwards, half step four type of thing. But, you know, you just keep going forward. Yeah, even when you fall down, you get up. And so yeah, I think that's fantastic. Thank you for sharing that. I think that's a really nice insight. You know, people always say it's about the journey type of thing, but it hasn't really sunk into my heart. But with today, I'm definitely going to consider that a lot further. So yeah, thank you.
Akko 24:22
Alright, guys, well, thank you for listening. And we're gonna just wrap it
Tamo 24:26
up now. And so we want you to answer the question, what is your biggest goals in life? Feel free to share that on our YouTube channel?
Akko 24:36
Yes. And then you can search up a time. And you can drop a comment there. Yep. Again,
Tamo 24:43
search for us on YouTube. You can tuck time. And when you see our podcast, please click through and comment. And we'll be sure to read it
Akko 24:51
and like, subscribe, we'll be happy to read all your comments.
Tamo 24:56
Thank you very much. Subscribe. Yeah, take care. All right. Buh bye. Bye bye